What ARE my Bond grrl adjectives???
So my Bond grrl teacher said that I (we) need to come up with adjectives to "embody" my inner Bond grrl self. So for the past several weeks I've been coming up with some that describe me now and how I want be later in life. I haven't come up with many and some came from Solitaire. I tried not to use adjectives that describe how I look. I'm in a transition right now and I'm in between my phycial self right now. (did that make sense?) Here is my list:Me now; overwhelmed, passionate, crazed, sensual, depressed, mysterious, clutter bug, confident, faithful, respectful....
I wanna be; savvy, sultry, happy, adventurous, aware....
I'm sure there are more adjectives that describe me and I'm going to do this exercise with one of my grrlfriends to see what we can come up with but, this is what I've come up with now. I have them posted in my cubicle at work to nurture my inner bond grrl.
Now I know that my adjectives are suppose to match my life style. And what I eat needs to be better, because I just had Mickie-Ds. I am trying hard to eat right but it's soo hard! : ( I admit I'm a an overwhelmed frazzed businesswomanmotherI'llmaketimeforsexpleasetouchmedidyoutakeoutthegarbage woman.
I went through my closet and drawers this past weekend and I'm embarrassed to say, but not all my undies match and I do have "granny period panties" but they are gone now. To my defense everything is basic black so I don't always buy matching sets. I'll work on that. My closet was a project in itself. I don't have a lot of clothes, my closets are just so small and everything is so cluttered. I tried to do the "black based","brown based, and the "blue based" (putting my clothes in a color catagory) but the only color in my closet is black and blue jeans! So I just rearranged what I have so it's not so cluttered. It's much better now!
My quest has only just begun, I know that I have a long way to go in hopes to be the Best Bond Grrl I Can Be.
posted by Mica @ 3:24 PM
1 Comments:
Atta grrl, you are on your way!
One movie that might be interesting to rent is "What The Bleep Do We Know?" It's about (believe it or not) quantum physics -- it talks about stuff but it's interesting and easy to understand (after you get over the beginning which is sort of odd). The idea is that the words that we use for ourselves "become" us -- because there was a study where a guy just taped words ("Love," "I hate you," etc.) to bottles of water, and it CHANGED the chemical composition of the water (he photographed it). So every time we say to ourselves "I'm overwhelmed" (my biggie!), we are fulfilling that prophecy...and our brains and our body just keep acting that same thing out.
The scariest thing tho about this movie is it talks about us at a cellular level. That when we are "bombarding" our bodies with "bad stuff," when that cell splits, it has more "receptors" for the bad stuff -- and less or NO receptors for the "good" stuff. The receptors can be for anything from emotions (because emotions are tied to chemicals that our brain gives off, they are "physical" in that way), proteins, etc. The idea here being that if you have been (let's say) depressed or overwhelmed for a really long period of time, each time your cells split to make a "daughter" or a "sister" cell, that cell has MORE receptors for overwhelm (because that's what you have been bombarding it with) and LESS for things like happiness. Yes, really. AND as there are only a certain number of receptor sites a cell can have, less even for proteins, vitamins, etc. The idea being that why we get "old" is actually that our protein receptors decrease....that's why our skin gets less elastic, etc. etc.
I am not doing this move justice --but you might give it a rent. It's fascinating b/c there is a "story" to it, but most of it is interviews with experts. And if you really listen to what they say, it makes you really think.
I came home last night really REALLY upset. I am not a jealous person, normally, but I went to see a friend of mine and she just got a new house (by herself). Her old house was cute, but this new house...OK it is ~my~ house. And this gal got downsized herself -- but bounced up and got a BETTER job that just "fell on" her. So now, she has this house that even has a rental as part of it so it's over five THOUSAND square feet (my house is 750 s.f. -- talk about no closet space!), but it's interesting, one of a kind, and just wonderful.
I came home crying -- just very "woe is me." There she is, with this awesome and I mean AWESOME house (I have never had "house envy" before!) and a job where -- get this -- she makes $1000 for doing webinars (web seminars) -- she does 2 a day for 3 hours each, in basically her slippers from home. I did the math on that -- she makes more in a week than I make in a month.
OK so the big B-U-T is she has no James in her life. And it's interesting -- this gal is GORGEOUS. I'm sure you have a friend like that too -- amazing hair, beautiful eyes, fun to be with, etc. -- but she's been through two marriages already, and I think that it's really that she doesn't have the fEmpowerment principles -- she wants to be the princess, and such, but doesn't give towards her guy. I think they (and she!) feel "grateful" to be "with her" and then there is no nurturing going on. I can't be sure of that, but that's what it seems to me.
But you see, she had NO questions that she "deserved" this house, and that when she was downsized "something great would come up" -- and it did. Now as for me, I have a great relationship with my James. Now that we're living together, our relationship is actually better, though the moving in is a big trial. It's easier to be supportive when I'm not racing back to my own house every other day to feed my cats, etc.
I got home, feeling really really low about how gorgeous her house is, and about how we were very much in the same "job situation" (I was actually her mentor originally!) like back 3 years ago when I got downsized -- then since then, I haven't been able to get a handle on getting back "righted" in that area.
As I was driving up the drive, I had this "sixth sense" that my James' daughter, who is 24, quite a bit overweight, and comes over to lie on the couch and watch TV and eat out food (she is a sweet girl, but I need some notice when she is going to be there, I don't like surprises, and she thinks of this still as "her house"). That just set me to crying too. Like "I don't even have anywhere to go." So I was up in the bedroom just freaking out (because I wanted to go down and watch TV, and that wasn't going to happen), and my James came in, and he didn't know what to do....so I just said "give me a hug" and had a good long cry. Then I figured I would go down and just ask whether I couldn't pop in the DVD -- and his daughter came storming out (my guess is he said something about the fact that her phone is now shut off, etc. b/c she isn't together enough to get her bills paid, though she always seems to be able to go out with her friends.) She stormed out of the house slamming the door. I said to him "I didn't say ANYTHING to her" and he said "I did -- and I guess she isn't going to come and take care of the animals when we are away in Hawaii" (starting in like 2 days, and we're away for 10 days!) Not good timing for whatever he said!!!
So she was gone, and I could watch the movie, which is what I did. And it totally re-reminded me, that you have to start each day really "planning" it. Even tho it means a little extra time in the morning, plan out how "it will go." Because the idea here is that we make our own reality. My friend didn't imagine that it would be possible NOT to have an amazing house, and an amazing job. But she can't get her head around sharing it with someone -- and so she doesn't. Somehow I am "blocking" the amazing job/amazing house thing -- and so by "planning out" the day, what you do is to send up a "rocket of desire" to God/the Universe/Your Own God Inside saying "this is the way that the day should go today in my reality." Then, you ask the "Great Observer/God/Fate/The Universe" to put little things into your day -- little things you will be aware of when they happen, that remind you that you "planned out" this day -- something really little, but that you will know is "from God/the Universe/your Inner Self/Angels" to just give you a little head's up that yes, you did create the day this way.
I have to get back on that path........we both do, Baby Bond Grrl. I too have been a Mikkie-D's grrl in my past (Burger King tho) -- I don't do that so much any more, but last night when I was feeling so sorry for myself, and sorry about not getting out to the gym, etc before going to Hawaii in 2 days (so I don't fit in my bathing suits, about 10 lbs up on them), that I ate a whole BIG SIZE candy bar. OK, what is THAT about?
We know better and then we "pretend" that some "other force" is getting us to Mikkie-D's. The thing is, that we are not only an example to our kids (in your case) but to ourselves (in both of our cases). There are "neural networks" in our brain, and we wear a groove in them with what we say or do. But we can BREAK those networks -- we just have to do it. So when you pass up Mikkie-D's, and even were to take some time and cut up stuff to have in the car that's more healthy to "get you home," etc., every time you pass it up, you loosen that "pathway" that you have grooved to the door. Sure, there will be some backsliding...but the other day I was STARVING and I drove right past Burger King (I was amazed b/c I still see my groove in the driveway!!!), and went to the Safeway even though I was running "late," and grabbed one of their "grab and go" meals. Sure, I'm still eating it in the car, but I got out and WALKED for a second (I also took a far parking space, again enough tho I was late, b/c WHO made me late -- me!), and then I got something better for me than that burger, for SURE! (I actually get the little plastic things of California Rolls sushi -- but they also have wraps, stuff like that). I didn't even think twice about going to BK.
So this might be my last post for a while as Xmas is coming up and then we're gone. I will tell you one last thing. I have really been sending up "notification" to my "inner self/the Universe/angels" that I want a really nice, unique gift for my James. I figured I would find something in Hawaii -- we have been so pressed trying to button up his house (he's doing construction), etc. etc. that I haven't really done much shopping. So anyway, this friend last night handed me an Xmas gift, which I didn't open there, I said I'd put it under the tree. Well when I got home and saw my James' daughter's car, I opened it right there!
And what was inside? There is a website that you can "make books" on -- and this was Romeo and Juliet, but written as "James and Solitaire" (our real names). I feel out! I read thru it (especially the end of course where they die!) and it's different -- in the end they don't die, it winds up being a mistake. I didn't crack the binding, I read thru it really smiling. B/c now I have my gift to my James -- I will wrap this up and he will think I am forward thinking, thoughtful, and all that jazz....even tho in reality my friend gave it to me. BUT -- remember -- I was sending out that desire, very strongly, for that gift....and look what happened. It was "delivered" to me. AND something "bad happened" that "made me" open it up -- so I would see it before Xmas, and could wrap it up for HIM.
Sometimes, you just have to keep your eyes open to these sort of happenings -- I think they happen all the time. But re-watching that movie last night (I happen to own it) really brought that back bright into my life.
Happy Xmas and a Fabulous New Year, Baby Bond Grrrrrrrl!
xxx Solitaire
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