the big 3-0!
I'll be 30 years OLD next year!!! How did I get so old so quick? What am I going to do? I wanted to be married! I wanted to be in my career making at least 6 figures! Just finishing up building my dream home! Three kids, a dog and cat! fairy tale ...but do able. I'm not nearly close to those things but, I do have one of the three kids with no more coming ever. (LOVE her dearly) Who's to blame? Me? Family up bringing? Society? The Man? I don't know??Probably no one. I have to get over it, it's not to late? Right?I've been on this marriage trip for the past few days. I think it also came from watching Wedding Crashers (wanting to have a big party reception). Telling one of my best grrl friends that I HAVE to be married before I turn 30. Mapping out my wedding with one of my co-workers (the only one I like!). Already soliciting family for donations toward my wedding. Just all kinds of crazy things. :0
I had to snap back into realilty quick! I'm not ready for marriage. I'm to embarrassed to even tell my James about all my stupid debt, I'm not sure if I can even stay committed to one man let alone live with one and I don't know how my daughter feels about having another daddy. But my main thing is my debt. It sucks bad! I mean I'm not 20K in debt ( I don't think?) But I haven't even began to address the problem by talking to creditors, making payment or anything like that. I'm just ignoring their phone calls, praying that one day I can get right, hit the lotto or meet a rich man. Sad but true! I guess that why I'm a baby bond grrl. I have so much to learn.
My James will only be 28!! (I think I'm too old for him?!) He's a good guy. He has most of his priorities together. He's pretty good to me and my kid. His mature in some cases and in others he's a complete dummy. He's the first guy I really thought of spending my life with. So, we've only been dating for a year & eight months. I don't know if that's long enough to be really talking about marriage without scaring him off. Number one he's not the talkative type, I mean he talks very little. I think he's more of a doer. He shows his feelings through his actions. Which can be very difficult to deal with a lot of times. But I love the man.
I'm going to be 30 in a year. SO what, if GOD bless me to see it I will embrace it and hopefully I will be a better woman by then.
posted by Mica @ 11:48 AM
1 Comments:
Im baaa-aack! I just wrote you a HUGE COMMENT and my computer died and ATE IT. I am ANGRY!
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