Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
This past Friday I had an issue with a co-worker telling other co-workers things about my work performance that wasn't true and potentially keeping me from advancing with the company. I really wanted to curse the B--ch out because her and a couple of other women are always "hate'in" on me about my age, the way I dress and act at work. They even went so far to say that I'm dating a man in my office, which I might add, is all of 60 & gross!! I think that I should tell all of them off. Mainly because they are taking my "kindness" for a "weakness" and by laughing it off (Solitaire told me to do that) and ignoring it the "chicks" are going to keep "picking" on me. I know! I sound like my 3rd grader!(smile)So, Solitaire saved the lady Friday. I was going to "whip" her after work in the parking lot. That's the ghetto grrl in me! lol She said LAUGH. Laugh it off, she puts it,"If someone where to say that you ate guinea pigs or that they caught you on a postcard doing the nasty with a donkey or something" what would you do? Would you get all "huffy" and "belligerent" and "defensive"? My guess (ok unless these sound close to home and you didn't want me to find out (smile)) is that you would just LAUGH them off. You'd smile, laugh, roll your eyes, say "man, can you BELIEVE that?" And you would be DONE giving energy to it. Because it would just be that crazy."
Solitaire thinks the women are jealous of my looks and intelligence. That might be true but I don't understand why. I mean I don't walk around the office like I'm a beauty queen or nothing and I think that all women especially women of color are beautiful. I have this conversation with my "James" all the time about women who he thinks are "not cute" or "unattractive", we go back and forth about many celebrities who are gorgeous to me and ugly to him. He said that I don't have good taste. I just see the beauty in everyone until they start acting ugly and then (like some of the women I work with) they look like "sole of my shoes" lol Well Ms. S, thank you for the compliments and the advice. As you can see I have a long way to go to get on your level as a bond grrl. Just don't stop working on me and I'm sure I make it.
posted by Mica @ 1:40 PM
1 Comments:
Jealous Jealous Jealous. They are jealous because they see the angel in you.............and they want to pull your wings off like a bug :-)
You have that angel look to you, Mica. Really. You just SHINE. And when someone who has an "Evil On" as we say sees that, they want to pull those wings off to get that grrl down to "their" level. Because, you see, they just don't believe they themselves can come "up" to that level.
I happen to completely agree with you re the beauty found in women -- and especially women of color. My personal trainer (I just hired one -- Lord save me) is "of color" though I have no idea what (laugh!) -- she's just not "Anglo." She might be Af-Am, she might be Latin-Am, she might be a Tigress-Woods-Af/Am-Asian-mix, not sure. But Oh-My-Word. Just like your pictures, I look at her there in the flesh and think "I SO WISH I had that color in my skin." WOW. White skin is so UNinteresting!
I know there are color issues in this world -- that are so unfortunately tied with being NOT "white." I live around them, and in fact was speaking with an amazing man I sat next to at the seminar on Saturday about them. Then something happened -- It was a funny (not "funny" but...sad?) situation. I have to set this up so you can see where it's going. He was a "dark black man" (dark dark dark), very fine, tall, slim figure (lifts weights, I found out), white dreads and beard, suit and tie. Now, most of the folks there were in more dressed down clothing, though most of them were very "conventional looking" (e.g., no dreads LAUGH).
I was talking with this gentleman, and then walked away after. Then someone I know came up to me, and said something and I realized that she should speak with this guy about the issue (it was an area of his expertise). So I said to her "you can't miss him, he's wearing a suit and is really handsome." Didn't occur to me to say ANYTHING else (because he WAS wearing a suit -- and IS really handsome, kinda "can't miss him"). She comes back a while later, says she can't find him. I say "Look, you can't miss him -- oh, he has white hair." So she goes back out. She can't find him. I am cracking up, TAKE her out there, see him, bring her over, introduce them, leave.
OK, so you know where this is going, right? She said "how come you didn't say the black guy with the dreads?"
Because he was NOT "a black guy with dreads to me" -- he was this gorgeous guy in a suit (and the suit actually is what made him different).
I was appalled. Actually he wound up sitting next to me at lunch, and we talked a bit about it. I used to sing in a Baptist Choir -- this is the closest I think I will ever feel to what he might feel like in seminars like that. I was an alto -- and so it was about 100 women of color and me, the little lightbulb (laugh-- that is what they called me). When we would go into churches, people would kinda give me "that look." Well, until we started singing of course. I hate that whole thing....I hate that things have to be "different" because of skin. I especially hate it because if you look at it from the most artistic standpoint, skin with color to it is MUCH more beautiful than not. But anyway -- that was one of my experiences this weekend -- and I had to shake my head. I was reminded of it tho when you said about how people look, 'especially women of color.' I totally agree on the beauty standpoint.
So, back to the heifers. :-) Some of this all is appearances. You're not "beauty queening" around the office -- but you have this inner beauty, and that's what people are seeing and are then not able to "see past" it because they just know they don't have it. They should hold you up as a model of what to "aspire" to -- instead they want to pull you down.
So hang in there -- and laugh :-)
S
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