Best Friends II
This morning Ms. P called me sounding half dead. I thought that she'd been with her "loser boy" again and he whipped her but he didn't. She told me that she's pregnant and guess who's the father. I didn't say anything at first but then I remember
she just told me that she was on her monthly Friday! Not to mention she had a complicated pregnancy with his baby before, lost it and had to have surgery which I thought made it so that she couldn't have babies anymore. (That's what I was thinking) So I asked her about her monthly and her surgery and she couldn't give me an answer. Then I asked how that could happen if they were broke up? She said that it happened on New Year's Day when she was"trying" to make things better. She just called to tell me that so that I could help her find a clinic and go with her to get an abortion. She really have emotional problems that I think need attention.
I said all that to say I really want to get HER out my life!!I know I can't she's like family. But she is sooo toxic. I love her dearly but she is giving me grief that I just don't need in my life right now. I have my own issues.
Thought for today: "Wherever groups of women make connections with other groups of women…we are affirming a network of change." — Blanche Weisen Cook
DEBT DIET
Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!
On today's Oprah Winfrey Show she has an America's DEBT DIET challenge. I missed the show because of work but I went on her website to get the information about the program. On the show there are steps that you can take to help with money problems. She has a contract and everything on the site with "Debt Diet prescriptions" prescribed by her experts. From what I read it seems a little tough. I have already started paying down my debt and now I have a connection with Oprah's show that might give me a chance to go on the show and tell the world how Oprah's Debt Diet and Mrs. Solitaire made me a debt free awesome bond grrl!!!
I've signed my contract and a line in the contract says that "I will lean on my family and friends and the Debt Diet principles for support..." this means you
S!Have a good day.
Best Friends
I have 3 very best grrl friends. I love them all the same and they all serve the same and some different proposes in my life. We all grew up on the same block and know each other very well. Ms. P, I've known since I was about 4 or 5. Pink, I've know since kindergarten so say 5. E-z, since I was 11. So you can see why I call them all my very best grrl friends.
We all are doing pretty well with our lives career wise, on the relationship front I may the only one that has some stability (& you know what I'm going through so you can say that their stuff is messed up) in a relationship. Ms. P & Pink both have 2 beautiful children boy & girl. E-z none & she probably wont have any.
I just got off the phone with Ms. P and she's very depressed. She said that her life is in "shambles". I know why she said that but when she mentioned it I asked her was the kids o.k.?
"Yes."
"How the job?"
"Fine."
"Mom, dad, sisters, brothers?"
"Good."
"Health?"
"Perfect."
"Well what's wrong P?"
then she goes, "I hate John and I've been taking all my anger out on everybody and that's not like me!"
And, that's where the problem begins. She has this Ex that is the worst kind of man I've ever known. He's very abusive emotionally, mentally and physically . I mean if you see the short loser you would think that he's wasn't worth her even talking to from the beginning. They were together 4 years but from the start of the relationship she should have saw that he wasn't for her. Our first encounter wasn't pleasant because she came down to my mother's house crying with a black eye asking me to come and "talk to him" because he took some fuses out her car and she can't leave her mother's house. Well, I was already heated from the way she looked and was acting. So when I go over there, We start cursing each other out and all of that. Anyway, we never liked each other and that affected Ms. P and my relationship cause he didn't want her to talk to me. He and I have had altercations up to last week when she and I and another girlfriend went out for drinks and he showed up there (she called him) and he put his hands on her in front of me and I tried to beat his head off with the first thing I could grab. Anyway, I 'm rambling...
So, I'm trying to encourage her and tell her that she's such a great person that that man just wasn't the man for her and that God will send the one to her and to be patient. She just wont get him out of her mind, she says things like "he needs to change" and"she just wants him to do right".
I think that her self-esteem is very low although she one of the most beautiful women around with a petite cute shape. She has dated professional baseball players, business owners, I mean she can get any man she wants but chose to want this
ugly fool! I don't know what to say to her. I don't think she listens to me I try to talk to her very positive and let her know that she can get passed him but I think that she just don't want to listen to me. We've had some words before about him and I didn't say anything nice. Ms. P has issues deeper than John. When she was coming up she did have family problems with her father but I was just thinking that she could get past that and not want to raise her daughter in the same environment that she was in.
I don't know, I'm going on and on but I don't know how to handle this. She doesn't want to listen to me and her family is all f---ed up so they can't guild her on the right path. I just hate to see her feel that way about a man.
My Valentine's Day
I had a really nice Valentine's Day. I spent the day with my James. It was really simple and fun. We exchanged gifts; he got me some smell goods, a pretty red & black teddy and a Movado watch. I got him a gift set of cologne, his favorite nuts & candy, his favorite drink Hennessey and edible panties. The panties were just a joke. I think he was willing to use them but I didn't let him. It's just that I've never seen any before and I wondered how they were made. They look like fruit roll-ups candy to me. I was going to hire singing telegram but he didn't come home from work in time. After we exchanged gifted we had dinner at a local restaurant which was nice but crowded.
I'm so happy that I don't have anything to complain about (well at least I'm not going to) with my James. I love him dearly and I hope that things do work out between us because we are good for each other. We both have our imperfections but I think they are things that we can live with.
I have to continue to work on my Bond Grrl self. I've almost perfected my walk and I have to tackle my closet again but in all everything is on the up & up.
So Proud
I am sooo proud of myself and you would be too. I just paid off two credit card bills, brought current one and paid a bill for my mother. Those were the ones that had me stressing I have others that are important but you know...I have a long way to go but I got all my bill together and now I see what I owe. I told Solitaire that I would call a not-for-profit credit counselor to make payment arrangements for all of my bills. I haven't yet but I am this afternoon. I've spent a lot of money at one time that's not on clothes, but I feel such a heavy burden lifted off my back. And I'm not going to JAIL!!!!
I need to start using the bond grrl techniques that I was taught. I'm going to do more this weekend and report back to everyone how things are going.
-Merrid
quickie:
Last Saturday My James and I were on our way to the movies when a grrl in a BMW had on her license plate BOND GRL. He noticed them first. I thought it was so cute. I didn't say anything to him about it, I'm just glad I'm not the only bond grrl in Indiana. Also, the movie we saw was Something New with Sanaa Lathan & Simon Baker (cutie), a great movie!! 4 stars.
Financial Blessing
I really, really, really, really need to get my act together. My mother just called me and said that I have a summons in the mail to go to court for a credit card. Now I don't even know what credit card it is. I haven't paid one or two in a few months but that's a little harsh to sue me for it now. Dang!! Why can't they wait till a sista get a little more money? I have all intentions to pay my bills, I'm just waiting on that better job, rich man, or lotto. Just kiddin'. I really need some help though. I have many ideas and I've read several books, and articles on how to get my finances right but I just don't have the money right now. I hate to tell people my profession when they know my situation.
Just how can an accountant not know how to handle her finances? I think the real reason is I'm addicted to retail. I've spent bill money on a new pair of jeans and shoes. Or, if I was a few dollars short on a bill I'd just spend it all on a new purse. Sad but true. But I'm going to get it right, I haven't been to the mall in months and I stay off e-bay. I'm going to work it out.
I'm waiting on my financial blessing.
merrid
Bond Grrl I Will Be
Last night my
dummy, immature, narrow minded, (I can go on & on ) James and I had and I'm not going to say a big fight about me being a bond grrl. He can't get past (what he say) "they are hoes" that we are beautiful intelligent, working, strong, independent, mothers, wives, women. He's sooo stupid!!! I told him not to talk to me any more about it and he got out the bed at mid-night and went home. (He went home, I made sure of that. But that's another topic. ) Now, you think I tried to stop him? NO, even though I have in the past. (I'm sure he thought I was.) He just doesn't' t understand that there are very important women in my life that I need/ have to help me become a better person and now I consider Solitaire one. He definitely needs a couple of mentors or role models to help him, because having a good job and great sex don't make you a man! LOL ; )
So, when I fist told him about when I met Solitaire and how smart she was, how she had good ideas about relationships and life in general and that we are going on Oprah one day, he went on about how I don't know that lady and in the movies bond grrls are stupid for James Bond and so on. He couldn't open his mind and look beyond the movie and put it in a real life perspective as to what we are doing for ourselves. And I don't know what's wrong with me because, when ever I try to explain it to him I get my words mixed up and I can't get it together. But, I know what it means to be a bond grrl in my heart and I am doing this to make myself a better woman and mother.
I e-mailed him this morning and told him a thing or two. Not just about the bond grrl issue but about some issues about our relationship period. I'm feeling like we have come to a stand still. We've enjoyed each other up to this point (2 years in May) but where is "it" going? I told him that I'm not trying to move him in or marry him right now, but where do we go from here? Is there a future? Or are we just going to cont'd to do "this" what ever "this" is? I doubt he even tells me, he doesn't talk about relationship much. At least he knows what is on my mind. If he comes back with a rebuttal I'll let you know. Have a good day! I feel better now. : )
merrid
